BASIC Studios

 

Welcome back to Myths & Mischief! This is your Lovable Lord of Lore, today’s mischievous myth is about the bird-brained military machine and how birds have threatened humanity. But, before we dive into today’s topic, might I draw your attention to this conveniently located “hiring” sign? Yes, that’s right, Myths & Mischief is looking to welcome new faces to our crew of creatives. If you’re an artist, writer, social media maven, coding genius, or graphic designer who prefers to work remotely, we’d love to meet you!

 

 

Now, back to our topic!

 

 

In 1963, movie viewers were terrified when Universal Pictures released Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds. Audiences were terrified by birds attacking people in a variety of ways, many unaware of the strife that birds have caused throughout the past couple of centuries. This goes beyond the bird flu and has even necessitated a military response, which helped shaped our view of nature and some current political boundaries. Thus, the phrase “war is for the birds” rings more true than most people realize.

 

Only a “bird brain” would have come up with this war.

 

In 1932, Australian farmers had a problem. Their crops were being devoured by an unusual enemy. Emus were responsible for an ongoing and significant destruction of their crops. Being in the Middle of a worldwide depression made food production a major concern and may have impacted their decision making as the army was called in.

 

Much like in the Battle of Gallipoli in 1915, poor coordination and ineffective or inexperienced soldiers were the centerpiece of the Australian attack. Also like Gallipoli, the army was expecting an easy victory. Armed with machine guns, the soldiers took to the field of battle. Apparently, even with machine guns, Emus could take multiple shots before being put down. That, along with their scatter and evade techniques, gave the Aussie troops a run for their money. Another similarity with Gallipoli was that the army realized they were no match and withdrew from the battle. Once again, the army had failed to provide a victory. The battle against the birds had the same result, but instead of the defeat being attributed to a stout resistance by the Ottoman Empire and disease, the Australians found themselves outmatched by hungry, flightless birds that continued to steal from farmers’ harvest. They fought the birds, and the birds won.

 

Most wars are fought over bullshit, but these conflicts were the result of birdshit.

 

From 1865 to 1879, Spain seized and occupied the Chincha Islands but were eventually repelled by Peru and its allies. Soon after Spain’s occupation concluded, Bolivia imposed a tax and seized assets belonging to a Chilean mining company, the Compañía de Salitres y Ferrocarril de Antofagasta (CSFA), which operated in disputed coastal territories. This broke a previous treaty between Chile and Bolivia. The Chileans responded by invading the region, which activated a secret pact between Peru and Bolivia, and the war began.

 

When Chile emerged victorious, Peru lost the southern province of Tarapacá and Bolivia lost its access to its entire coastline.

What was so valuable that it caused 18 years of strife? Bird (and bat) shit. This particular coastline was frequented by these flying creatures, just like coastlines around the world. What made this location unique was that it hardly if ever rained there. As years passed, layers and layers of guano accumulated on the beach rather than being washed away.

 

Other than being gross, this would not have caused such a stir had the nitrogen and phosphorus rich droppings played a lesser role in the production of fertilizer. The population booms in Europe and America increased the demand for said fertilizer. The guano also contributed to the production of saltpeter, an essential component of making early gunpowder. In the 1800s, the droppings were among the most highly sought after natural resources in the world.

 

Other than being fearful of being attacked in a phone booth by a swarm of birds, the impact of birds on resources have caused borders to be redrawn, lives and crops were lost, and birds are still everywhere. Maybe that is why people are so hell bent on destroying the environment. Sure it will kill us too, but maybe we are playing the long game against the angry birds.

 

China’s war on sparrows came back to bite them.

 

From 1958 to 1962, Mao Zedong launched his Four Pests Campaign. In order to protect agriculture he had people bang things to scare away birds, destroy nests, and shoot the little birds in order to produce more food for his goal to industrialize China.

 

It worked to an extent, most of the sparrows were killed or left and there were few left. However, the plan backfired as wars with nature tend to do. The absence of sparrows increased the insect population and caused the Locust Plague, where large amounts of crops were eaten by the one time prey of the sparrow. It is estimated that between 15 to 45 million people died in the Great Chinese Famine which was caused by poor planning and the loss of the sparrow.

 

Either way you look at it, war against nature, or war against people, war is for the birds.

 

That’s it for this week’s installment, this is your Lord of the Lore signing off.

If you liked this tale, make sure to subscribe for more so you don’t miss the next installment of mischievous myths!