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Be Your Own Bestie was a book that I needed to be ready to read. The first nine chapters reinforced my views on the path to self/love,  which I’m still traversing, and probably will be all of my life. Self-discovery and self-love are both something we humans will work on all of our lives.  

 

Be Your Own Bestie

 

My mother found Bestie on Facebook and then introduced me to him. For those of you who do not know Bestie (Misha Brown), he is a talented performer, author, and all/around beautiful human being. On Facebook, he has his page Dontcrossagayman, where he fights against homophobia, stands up for women everywhere, and promotes the well-being of his fellow human beings. What’s more, if he sees something that isn’t right, he’s going to let the world know it! Misha is a treasure amongst the unfiltered rubble that pollutes the internet.

 

With all of that said, let’s continue with his best-selling book. When I saw he had published a book, I knew I had to read it! Thankfully, my mother was one step ahead of me and had already purchased it. The book, as you might have guessed, is Be Your Own Bestie by Misha Brown. Starting the novel was easy; I became absorbed within the first nine chapters.

 

Yet, something told me to put Misha’s book down and take a little pause. It wasn’t because the book wasn’t good—far from it! Please don’t misunderstand, the hilarious Mr. Brown is a hoot and a half as he weaves real-life stories of struggle into moments his readers can really relate to. This is why it was so strange to feel as though  I would need to tale a pause to continue his story of self-discovery while encouraging those of us reading to do the same.

 

Still, I needed the break, so I put the book down for three months. Only  recently did I decide to return to it. In a time when I didn’t realize how much I needed his message, I found it with ease. A friend of mine would say that the universe led me back to this book when I needed it most. To tell you the truth, maybe it did? 

 

Be the Bigger Person?

 

Over the past few months, life hasn’t been easy on an emotional level. First, let’s set the scene, shall we?  

 

State of the world? A hot mess.

 

State of the U.S.? Every kind of mess possible.

 

State of my professional life? Frustration with mean and incompetent people who have no business doing what they do.  

 

And how are we as a society, as human beings, supposed to respond? With a smile. By staying quiet. Because heaven forbid we hurt people’s feelings. It’s not their fault they are struggling! (I want someone to explain to me whose fault it is, because it sure isn’t mine!)

 

I’m sure you are wondering where the book comes in. Well,  let me tell you. Smack dab in the middle of the book— chapter ten, to be exact—Bestie Misha graced me with some sage advice that I shall pass on to you, my little monsters. In life, we are told to just be nice, to “be the bigger person” when we encounter someone who goes against our morals and values. Then Misha asked, “who it benefited to be the bigger person?”

 

Even though he told me the answer, it got me thinking…

 

At what age did we learn to stop standing up for ourselves and just “be nice” ?

 

Stop Making Nice

 

As children, we are told to stand up to bullies and fight injustice in the world around us. If someone bullies a child, they are often told to tell an adult or stand up for themselves,  to be brave. Why is this not told to adults?

 

In chapter ten, aptly titled “Clap Back Confidence,” Misha describes a situation where a woman was extremely rude and hurtful to him and the worker he was speaking with. Both individuals were minding their business when this woman decided to have a problem with them. This is exactly the moment society would say, “Oh just ignore her. She isn’t worth the effort.”

 

But aren’t we worth the effort? What does it do for a person to stand up for themselves and push that negativity back onto the person putting it out into the world? It feels damn good. In Misha’s case, this woman started everything, but he was supposed to be quiet and ignore it.  But when he had some choice words (I clutch my pearls!), this woman acted put upon.

 

How dare he be rude?! Yet, it was the woman who stuck her nose where it didn’t belong and made an issue out of nothing who was truly rude. Two people were sharing a moment that didn’t harm or disrupt anyone’s daily life. To most, that woman would have appeared to be the victim, considering the ‘clap-back’ Misha doled out, and some people would’ve said he went too far (read the book for more details). The truth is, that woman started something she couldn’t handle and acted like the victim in a situation she created.

 

The most beautiful part of Misha’s book, and chapter ten specifically, is that he promotes positivity and love—but not at the expense of a person’s peace. Reading that there is no reason to turn the other cheek felt freeing. Accepting bad behavior from others who don’t show respect is abuse that none of us deserve. It’s time to let go of society’s manners and remember what we were taught as kids.

 

Stand up to  bullies. And if any of you still aren’t sure if it’s right, ask yourselves this:

 

Would I tolerate this happening to my children? Would I tolerate it for my besties? Would I let someone speak that way to my family?

 

If the answer is no, then don’t you dare accept it for yourself.

 

I realize that not everyone is comfortable with verbal comebacks, which is why I appreciated Misha Brown’s tips at the end of the chapter.

 

My favorite was “the pause.” He captured it perfectly when he said, “That pause? That’s power.”  

 

When someone treats you poorly, you do not have to rush to placate them. Take a pause. Take a nice, long moment to look into the depths of their soul before you pull out your sass. It’s time to put on your  “I’m sorry, did you just say something that stupid to me?” face. Then, you do as Misha says and either slow-blink or raise your eyebrow right up into your hairline. Words may be necessary, but silence may do all of the work. The beauty is, that you get to decide.

 

While it’s rather unorthodox to review a book in the middle of reading it, I couldn’t wait to share Misha’s words with all of you. Coming into the autumn months, school is starting, vacation is over, and we are heading into the hustle and bustle of the holidays. These are not easy months. We will all face challenges that test our limits, which is why it’s so important to remember not to tolerate anyone’s bad behavior toward you or those you love.

 

Thank you Misha

 

Thank you for reading, little monsters If you haven’t read the book, go find a copy! You can also find Misha on his socials (@yourbestiemisha) if you want to keep up with what he is doing.

 

Misha, if you read this, thank you for breaking down outdated societal norms that deserve to be forgotten. Thank you for your candor and for being a bestie when we all need one most.

 

Until next time! Monster Mama will return with more monster madness soon…October doth approach!