Killer Rabbits

The “most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on” (Tim the Enchanter, Monty Python) was capable of defeating one of the greatest generals in history. While dictators attempt to provide a powerful vibrato, at other times they are exposed as just as weak and vulnerable as the rest of us.

Perhaps poor planning could be to blame, or the perversion of the practice of hunting had something to do with it, but incompetence can bring down the most powerful of dictators.

In July 1807, after signing the Treaties of Tilsit, ending the war between the French Empire and Imperial Russia, Napoleon engaged in a celebratory rabbit hunt organized by Alexandre Berthier, his chief of staff who wished to show his appreciation after being named Prince of Neuchâtel. Regardless of his properties and that rabbit was one of the most popular sources of game at the time, Bertheir went on to purchase between 1000 and 3000 rabbits for the hunt on his property in Paris. Unbeknownst to Berthier, the rabbits were domesticated bunnies, rather than wild rabbits though it is unclear if he understood the difference.

In the Charlie Chaplin movie the Great Dictator, Chaplin’s dictator, representing Hitler is taken down by a Jewish Barber. That would have been less embarrassing than Napoleon’s rabbit hunt.

After breakfast, the hunting party gathered in the field. The cages with the rabbits were opened around the field with the intent that the rabbits would flee from those hunting them. Initially, that is what happened and all seemed to be going according to plan. While the men had eaten, the rabbits had not. Since they were domesticated, their way of obtaining food was through humans. After the initial scatter, the rabbits came together in a furry blob with ears flopping all over the place.

In a flanking move that rivaled those of Napoleon’s, the rabbits separated into two groups and attacked the hunters from both sides. Those in the entourage found the happenings as comical until they were overrun and attempted to fire at them. When that didn’t work resorted to repelling them with riding crops, whips, and sticks.

Napoleon faired no better. He was unable to get his gun into position as the rabbits swarmed him. They began nibbling at his buttons and boots and climbing up his short little legs and he was forced to flee. As he embarked in his imperial coach, several rabbits followed him and the coach sped away. Those in the coach had to throw the rabbits out the windows to get rid of them. It must have been the “big sharp pointy teeth, look at the bones man.” (Tim the Enchanter)